Monday, September 27, 2010

The Journey is not easy






At the moment life should be brilliant but it's not. Like I'm studying music and it's pretty much like one massive jam because all the best musicians and singer doing my course are christian so its just a brilliant environment to be in. I'm also signed to a football club on a youth development contract and its going very well and from that got several big clubs interested in me. Last week Saturday I got injured playing football within 15mins of the match. I sustained ligament damage in my right ankle after a nasty challenge. I've felt very handicapped since like I can't walk well without being in pain, running is a definite No. Yesterday I had a very crap day like nothing happened but I just wanted to hide away and just felt so low so I stayed in half the day and cried in bed I didn't answer or text anyone of my phone just let it ring or whatever was going on. Today Ive just been thinking "Soly whats up dude?" and just been thinking why I feel like this. Here's the thing I've realised having this injury hampered my ability to do stuff like I can walk but not very well, if I tried to run I would be in a lot of pain and not run very well and I think its the story of my life at the moment like things might be great in some areas but there's a real handicap in one area which is affecting me in general and just making me internally struggle and feel very lost inside the deep wells of emotions and thoughts. I'm finding it very hard too like just the mood swings and the last 48 hours have kinda been like the hardest but today while heading home I was listening to How He Loves Us the Jesus Culture version and I was reminded of God love for me and I'm going to hold on to that love with all I've got as somehow that I will never understand God works all things to the good of those who love him.

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