First time I've blogged in like 3 years, this feels so surreal. I've just really felt to start blogging again just to get some thoughts down as a release to myself. Lately a lot of things have happened and I have caused a lot of hurt and frustration to the people closest to me. Tonight after seeing and praying with a friend I felt heavily convicted hence this post.

As the body of Christ, we are called to live in community with one another. The idea of people watching us or knowing about the sin in our lives can often make us feel uncomfortable. Being known by others and being held accountable is necessary however, not only to meet our basic relationship needs, but also to afford us a measure of safety from the enemy’s devices.

Ananias and Sapphira had a well-known problem. They lied about giving all the proceeds from the sale of their property to the church. Judgment came because they pretended to be something they weren’t. Playing a role to imitate the sincerity of those around them (Acts 4:34-37), they forgot that God knows the true condition of our hearts (Proverbs 24:12).

Believers who take seriously the presence of the Holy Spirit living in them recognize the following:

Transparency means…

• Pursuing “holiness and sincerity in all our dealings” (2 Corinthians 1:12).

• Being honest with others about where we are spiritually (Ephesians 4:25).

• A willingness to be admonished by those who love us (Proverbs 27:6).

Tinted windows may keep our cars cooler by allaying the sweltering summer heat, but tinted lives leave us open to the enemy.

Faith, Hope, and Love

The last the couple of week and a bit of my life have been a bit of a blur due to it just been completely covered in emotion. It wasn't till Monday on the way home from the Thanksgiving Service for my dear friend that passed away that I began to process everything that had happened in the last 3weeks (Just want to thank The Kerith Centre for catering for all the Fpers and just for an emotional but amazing day.) Since Monday there has really been a sense of hope in me like I still go through the emotional stuff which is expected but It's all in Gods hands. For a while now God has been teaching me how to love unconditionally no matter what was going on but just to love others as God loves us. For me it's been a massive challenge during this Fp year as I've been through so many relational difficulties which resulted with me walking away from a lot of people and just feeling very bitter. Since going to Mobilise (A New Frontiers Student and Twenties conference which is just really awesome (click here to see a few highlights of the conference this year. Might see a few familar faces hehe) God really begun to heal some of the open wounds and help me to get over a lot of the bitterness. I was really reminded of the work God was doing in me with all the hurt just going to watch Toy Story 3 with a bunch of Fpers earlier this week. It was an amazing film like Toy Story has always been one of my favourite films when on a lazy day just pigging out on Ben and Jerry's (aaahhh soo yummy!!!). The thing that really stood out to me was no matter what happened they were all in it together no matter what faced them and at times even went out of there way for one another (don't want to give the storyline away but it is a must see film trust me seen it 3 times so SICK!!). Even after getting home and talking to my Mum about the film she laid down a challenge by saying "Sol its good that your really getting what a strong Christian community is, but what about those closer to home".  I couldn't answer had nothing to that just walked up to my deep in thought and just said the one prayer I've Prayed so much which is "God you know.  I can honestly say my faith is now firmly routed for example last night I thought I'm going to go to a half night of prayer which I just got blown away at some the things that were said through other people just confirming stuff I've already heard before. Just to finish I can say is that I'm the one verse thats been on my heart is 1 Corinthians 13 verse 13 which reads;

  

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

I've shared this gem of a scripture with a lot of people and just whats God has challenged me with and it has blessed a lot of people to the point a friend put it as his Facebook status. I don't know what God's doing but he is in control and I'm gonna just see how it all pans out because all I know is I find rest in Him.

Whats to do?.....There's no point but God only you know

Since last week there has been a lot of people I cut out my life trying to see how I'm doing and all the rest and It's just like why now? For me personally I just want to put on my headphones, wear my glasses and ignore them completely. Last night I began to think after a bit of an argument that left me feeling angry. TI he one thought kept running through my head and its just kept playing in my head all day today "Since October this whole thing has been going on, attempts to sort it failed or if it was half sorted it was with the notion things are going to be weird for a while, I walk away for the final time have a tragic accident in which I lose a friend and its all Soly you alright. Get on your horse and jog on don't need it despite the accident Nothing has changed". When it comes to it I can honestly say I've just gone on with my life pressed into God and just got used to not having them in my life and if anything forgotten about them because I've focused on my Fp family which relationally has helped get over them. 

If I think back God challenged me to live in unconditional love and stuff of which im trying to do but I can't. I look at Jesus's life and just how he was still able to go to Peter and stuff like nothing had happened and use him to be one of the first Christian Martyrs even though he denied ever knowing Jesus 3 times in Jesus's greatest hour of needed someone by his side. Or even the story of Joseph how he was his sold in to slavery by his brothers but in the end he was united with his brothers as Prime Minister of Egypt. To be honest the only people I need in my life are my family, Fp Family and a handful of others when it comes to anyone else I don't know but with God sending challenges I don't know what I can do but say father I don't have a clue with anything at the moment but only you know and I'm just gonna trust in you for I know you work all things for the good of those who love you.