Since last week there has been a lot of people I cut out my life trying to see how I'm doing and all the rest and It's just like why now? For me personally I just want to put on my headphones, wear my glasses and ignore them completely. Last night I began to think after a bit of an argument that left me feeling angry. TI he one thought kept running through my head and its just kept playing in my head all day today "Since October this whole thing has been going on, attempts to sort it failed or if it was half sorted it was with the notion things are going to be weird for a while, I walk away for the final time have a tragic accident in which I lose a friend and its all Soly you alright. Get on your horse and jog on don't need it despite the accident Nothing has changed". When it comes to it I can honestly say I've just gone on with my life pressed into God and just got used to not having them in my life and if anything forgotten about them because I've focused on my Fp family which relationally has helped get over them.
If I think back God challenged me to live in unconditional love and stuff of which im trying to do but I can't. I look at Jesus's life and just how he was still able to go to Peter and stuff like nothing had happened and use him to be one of the first Christian Martyrs even though he denied ever knowing Jesus 3 times in Jesus's greatest hour of needed someone by his side. Or even the story of Joseph how he was his sold in to slavery by his brothers but in the end he was united with his brothers as Prime Minister of Egypt. To be honest the only people I need in my life are my family, Fp Family and a handful of others when it comes to anyone else I don't know but with God sending challenges I don't know what I can do but say father I don't have a clue with anything at the moment but only you know and I'm just gonna trust in you for I know you work all things for the good of those who love you.
Hello brother.
ReplyDeleteI know this isn't my business so please take nothing I say as final or advice, but simply food for thought. From reading your previous blogs I thought in answer to this 1 - perhaps maybe they realised how very much they care for you. It may not be a wise idea to be so closed minded, when really they may be simply trying to reach out to you because they care far more than you realise. Sometimes it requires big events for people to realise how much they care for another, much like I'm sure you realised how much you care about your friend who is sadly now with God. Often when we lose the ones we love, we realise how much we care for them, or as the saying goes 'you do not realise what you have until it is gone'. Perhaps this is them trying to restore a relationship with someone whom could have been gone - you. Try to be open minded right now because I know you are hurting from your loss, but as I said they may have realised how much they care and by talking to you again they may be trying to rebuild what was broken. You say you "cut them out" but maybe this is them trying to break back in and fight for you out of love. Of course if the people did you awfully wrong, it is totally understandable why you would choose to walk away, but be sure to show them grace as God would want because we are meant to be a forgiving people. Rudeness or biterness will not help you, especially as you are trying to heal right now. You need friends more than ever when you are broken and so anybody who is willing to reach out to you deserves to be acknowledged.
But as I said, this is just some food for thought. I hope you continue to follow and trust in God, and be graceful and loving to all.
God Bless you brother.
J